Star Wars, Episode 3 SUXS!

[nbk2000]

(I know it's been out a few months already, just waited for the crowds to disappear)

Having seen the latest Star Wars movie, I must say that I was disappointed by it.

Yes, there was eye-candy galore, but the eye can not live on candy alone.

Starting with the opening space battle:

Very impressive and quite spectacular. BUT...there's no air is space, so all the sounds of space fighters swooshing by is silly, though I understand the need for dramatic license. I think it'd be far more dramatic if you see all these beautiful ships being blown apart in utter silence, interspersed by the screams of the dying crew in the interior shots.

The heros have missiles fired at them, but the missile are *dumb*, with several running into each other and exploding harmlessly. I would think that any civilization smart enough to build space ships capable of light-speeds and AI-equipped androids, could build missiles smart enough not to run into each other.

Oh, but several do get ahead of the heros and deployed these spheres into their path. I thought 'Oh, the missiles are deploying submunition mines for them to run into.'. Silly me, thinking logically in the Lucas Universe. They were little droids that attached themselves to the heros fighters and started to tear 'em apart.

:rolleyes:

Of course! How much more sensible! Why use a proximity fuzed explosive warhead to do something quickly and efficiently when you can use silly little droids so your heros R2 units can have some screen time duking it out with them instead.

Once these pests are dealt with, the heros crash onto the flagship of the evil droid leader, General Grievous, who no doubt took that name from a bad anime character.

After slaughering scores of stupid droid soldiers who are nothing more than Lucas's version of Original Star Treks red-shirts (you know, the guys who get killed within one minute of beaming down with Kirk and Spock?), they're off to rescue the future emporer who's being held hostage.

One thing that came to annoy me throuhgout the movie was how the droids would look at each other and make comments like 'Uh oh!' to each other as they were about to be sliced by the Jedis.

They're not organic creatures, so why the fuck are they vocalizing? Wouldn't combat droids be using some form of digitally encrypted communicatons so that;

A) Organic enemies couldn't intercept their conversations

or

B) 'talk' so fast that an entire conversation would sound like a chirp...like a voice recording played at hundred times normal speed?

There's dumb shit with the elevator, dumb shit with the hostage being left unguarded, Count Dookie attacking 2 to his 1 and getting killed for it, and an especially dumb thing with the gravity.

This is where the ship is headed for a nose-dive into the planet below and so, naturally, everything and everyone goes sliding at great speed down towards the planet in the ship.

Oh...and so the ships artifical gravity field that's been holding them to the floor the whole time that they've been in the weightless enviroment of orbit suddenly aligns itself with the planet, rather than holding them to the floor, regardless of the ships orientation to the nearest astral body? AAARRRGHGH!

Then the ship breaks in half as it's re-entering the atmosphere. This, of course, doesn't effect their ability to control the ship, nor send them tumbling, as they've got air-brakes.

As they go screaming down to the planet, they spot a landing field and so they go to land there. Never mind that an object of many thousands of tons and hundreds of meters in diameter has just come in at Mach 20+...that annoying thing known as a shock front dissipates in the Lucas Universe within feet of the object, rather than acting as an explosive blast that'd destroy things for miles in its wake.

As they come in for a landing, they get (suspend reality mode ON) hosed down in mid-air by little flying firetrucks! Oh, fuck me!

How about some lizard thing outrunning a monowheel driving by a fleeing General Grievious? And why does an android wheeze and walk around like the Hunchback of Norte Dame and yet, later, jumps and runs around like a cracked-out spider? (PS: I know he has organic components, but seriously...wheezing?)

There's surveillance cameras in the Senators private offices so Jedis can roll tape and see Anikan swear allegiance to a Sith Lord? How could politicians operate with in house spies? They couldn't and wouldn't.

The Wookies get a couple of minutes as the droids assualt across a river in a manner reminiscent of a charge across the No Mans Land of WW1. Droids = Dumb.

I like how Anikan just flies right up to his crib and hops out of his ride, hundreds of stories up, with no rails or nothing around, while his pregnant wife stands there just feet from falling to her death on a sloping 'porch', and C3PO literally a single step from the edge.

Doesn't anyone have any sense? Or perhaps the railings are invisible force fields? Ohhhhh, how slick! It's there, you just won't know it unless you run into it. Just hope someone didn't turn it off without telling you...

How about after all the Jedi are killed off and Yoda is brought before the emperor? Yoda uses the force to knock out two guards before chatting with the bemused emperor, who waves off his only other guard, setting up the scene for their light-saber duel.

WTF?!

No wonder this dude loses an empire amd gets killed...he's a moron!

If my enemy, a Jedi master who's sworn to kill me (a Sith Lord), is brought before me, he's damn well going to be bound hand and foot, as well as gagged (can't risk 'em using The Voice ;)), stripped naked, and surrounded by a dozen guards with their fingers on the trigger and orders to kill at the slightest twitch.

But nooooo! Seems someone forgot to read the 101 rules of being an Evil Overlord.

The whole movie is like this...stupidity piled on top of foolishness.

I spent far more time laughing at the stupid things than I did being absorbed in the movie.

There were only a couple of good scenes, such as the creation of the Vader we all know and love, and his first use of the 'I'm crushing your throat!' pinch of death.

Lucas fucked off a perfectly good ending by dragging it out too long. He should have left off where Vader and the Emperor are standing on the bridge of a destroyer, looking out on the construction of a Death Star. That was dramatic.

Instead, he keeps going, showing the twins (luke and leia) being parceled out. Yawn!

As for the rest...a waste of two hours and six dollars. It's the best of the most recent three, but still falls far short of any of the original three. Only simpletons and small children could enjoy watching it.

Lucas, you bastard, I want my money back!

[nbk2000]

(I know it's been out a few months already, just waited for the crowds to disappear)

Having seen the latest Star Wars movie, I must say that I was disappointed by it.

Yes, there was eye-candy galore, but the eye can not live on candy alone.

Starting with the opening space battle:

Very impressive and quite spectacular. BUT...there's no air is space, so all the sounds of space fighters swooshing by is silly, though I understand the need for dramatic license. I think it'd be far more dramatic if you see all these beautiful ships being blown apart in utter silence, interspersed by the screams of the dying crew in the interior shots.

The heros have missiles fired at them, but the missile are *dumb*, with several running into each other and exploding harmlessly. I would think that any civilization smart enough to build space ships capable of light-speeds and AI-equipped androids, could build missiles smart enough not to run into each other.

Oh, but several do get ahead of the heros and deployed these spheres into their path. I thought 'Oh, the missiles are deploying submunition mines for them to run into.'. Silly me, thinking logically in the Lucas Universe. They were little droids that attached themselves to the heros fighters and started to tear 'em apart.

:rolleyes:

Of course! How much more sensible! Why use a proximity fuzed explosive warhead to do something quickly and efficiently when you can use silly little droids so your heros R2 units can have some screen time duking it out with them instead.

Once these pests are dealt with, the heros crash onto the flagship of the evil droid leader, General Grievous, who no doubt took that name from a bad anime character.

After slaughering scores of stupid droid soldiers who are nothing more than Lucas's version of Original Star Treks red-shirts (you know, the guys who get killed within one minute of beaming down with Kirk and Spock?), they're off to rescue the future emporer who's being held hostage.

One thing that came to annoy me throuhgout the movie was how the droids would look at each other and make comments like 'Uh oh!' to each other as they were about to be sliced by the Jedis.

They're not organic creatures, so why the fuck are they vocalizing? Wouldn't combat droids be using some form of digitally encrypted communicatons so that;

A) Organic enemies couldn't intercept their conversations

or

B) 'talk' so fast that an entire conversation would sound like a chirp...like a voice recording played at hundred times normal speed?

There's dumb shit with the elevator, dumb shit with the hostage being left unguarded, Count Dookie attacking 2 to his 1 and getting killed for it, and an especially dumb thing with the gravity.

This is where the ship is headed for a nose-dive into the planet below and so, naturally, everything and everyone goes sliding at great speed down towards the planet in the ship.

Oh...and so the ships artifical gravity field that's been holding them to the floor the whole time that they've been in the weightless enviroment of orbit suddenly aligns itself with the planet, rather than holding them to the floor, regardless of the ships orientation to the nearest astral body? AAARRRGHGH!

Then the ship breaks in half as it's re-entering the atmosphere. This, of course, doesn't effect their ability to control the ship, nor send them tumbling, as they've got air-brakes.

As they go screaming down to the planet, they spot a landing field and so they go to land there. Never mind that an object of many thousands of tons and hundreds of meters in diameter has just come in at Mach 20+...that annoying thing known as a shock front dissipates in the Lucas Universe within feet of the object, rather than acting as an explosive blast that'd destroy things for miles in its wake.

As they come in for a landing, they get (suspend reality mode ON) hosed down in mid-air by little flying firetrucks! Oh, fuck me!

How about some lizard thing outrunning a monowheel driving by a fleeing General Grievious? And why does an android wheeze and walk around like the Hunchback of Norte Dame and yet, later, jumps and runs around like a cracked-out spider? (PS: I know he has organic components, but seriously...wheezing?)

There's surveillance cameras in the Senators private offices so Jedis can roll tape and see Anikan swear allegiance to a Sith Lord? How could politicians operate with in house spies? They couldn't and wouldn't.

The Wookies get a couple of minutes as the droids assualt across a river in a manner reminiscent of a charge across the No Mans Land of WW1. Droids = Dumb.

I like how Anikan just flies right up to his crib and hops out of his ride, hundreds of stories up, with no rails or nothing around, while his pregnant wife stands there just feet from falling to her death on a sloping 'porch', and C3PO literally a single step from the edge.

Doesn't anyone have any sense? Or perhaps the railings are invisible force fields? Ohhhhh, how slick! It's there, you just won't know it unless you run into it. Just hope someone didn't turn it off without telling you...

How about after all the Jedi are killed off and Yoda is brought before the emperor? Yoda uses the force to knock out two guards before chatting with the bemused emperor, who waves off his only other guard, setting up the scene for their light-saber duel.

WTF?!

No wonder this dude loses an empire amd gets killed...he's a moron!

If my enemy, a Jedi master who's sworn to kill me (a Sith Lord), is brought before me, he's damn well going to be bound hand and foot, as well as gagged (can't risk 'em using The Voice ;)), stripped naked, and surrounded by a dozen guards with their fingers on the trigger and orders to kill at the slightest twitch.

But nooooo! Seems someone forgot to read the 101 rules of being an Evil Overlord.

The whole movie is like this...stupidity piled on top of foolishness.

I spent far more time laughing at the stupid things than I did being absorbed in the movie.

There were only a couple of good scenes, such as the creation of the Vader we all know and love, and his first use of the 'I'm crushing your throat!' pinch of death.

Lucas fucked off a perfectly good ending by dragging it out too long. He should have left off where Vader and the Emperor are standing on the bridge of a destroyer, looking out on the construction of a Death Star. That was dramatic.

Instead, he keeps going, showing the twins (luke and leia) being parceled out. Yawn!

As for the rest...a waste of two hours and six dollars. It's the best of the most recent three, but still falls far short of any of the original three. Only simpletons and small children could enjoy watching it.

Lucas, you bastard, I want my money back!

[Third_Rail]

Lucas, you bastard, I want my money back!


That phrase, now quite oft-spoken, is all that is left of Lucas' once great legacy.

[Third_Rail]

Lucas, you bastard, I want my money back!


That phrase, now quite oft-spoken, is all that is left of Lucas' once great legacy.

[Marvin]

The original three were damn good. The more I read or hear about the actual process that lead up to them though, the less I am convinced of Lucas' genius. Many of the iconic moments of the first film happened totally by accident, or wern't in the script on start of filming and were added on a whim at the last moment. Harrison ford as Han Solo, who could have done a better job? And the set carpenter got to be in the film when the guy actually cast as Han didn't show up. Or how about Obe-Wan moving to a higher plane of existance? Most of the second film was going to be him teaching Luke the ways of the force. Last moment, kill him off and for the second film had to invent Yoda. How fundamental to the way the first two films worked was that very late in the day script change! How about Jabba the hut? A human in the first film but ended up on the cutting room floor which was very fortunate given how well the later incarnation worked.

The more I hear about the process the more I think Lucas isnt a genius, he did a lor right and was very very lucky with everything else. He was smart enough to see where the money was and go into toys and start up compaies like LucasArts, Industrial light and magic....

The first prequal was a nightmare, comittie thinking and ended up making a 2 hour toy commercial. Leia was apricess so her mother has to be a queen, but being a queen isnt democratic and god knows that every advanced civilisation would choose to do things exactly like america does it now. So Amidala is queen because she's been voted queen for a short period of time - or something to that effect in fudged explanations of why she is nolonger queen in the second prequal - conviently before she's old enough to buy alcohol or lose her virginity in what must be a cross between presidential elections and a beauty pagent for the benifit of culturally ingrained pedaphilia.

In the third film Lucas seems to want to tie up every loose end, leave things as happy as they can be under the circumstances while including cameos of every successfull creature he's ever invented. He also wants to suck all the events from the empires rule to completely neuter them. Theyre supposed to stand around for what must be 2 decades while that death star gets partially completed even though we are supposed to believe they can whip up a second 'fully operational' one at a moments notice for 'episode 6'.

Its beyond stupidity, its corperate thinking. Its artificially bending things out fo shape to make them happier, kinder, more saleable and politically correct. If Anakin gets his pinch as soon as he turns to the dark side wtf is he doing while his son is growing up? Does he learn nothing at all more about thw ays of the dark side? How the hell can Yoda throw electricity in the second one, its practically made clear in the last film thats a perk of joining the dark side. Its unsubtle, its not honerable. Its a sith trick, its not something Jedi masters send away for with a certain number of cerial tokens. Dooku was able to learn it in the decade or so it took the clones to grow up since he joined the Dark side, but in the time Luke takes to grow up Vader, supposedly much more in touch with the force than any Jedi previously or since never aparently learns it in the much longer time it takes Luke to grow up.

Or course Yoda has to be captured and escape because the idea he survived the massacre by running away, or being too far away when the war started wouldnt be very 'patriotic american' even though this would make much more sense given what we know from the original films, he is after all hiding, cowering if you will, on a planet in the middle of nowhere during what he knows are the very last few years of his life.

How about turning the force from the religion with very real benifits into a blood disease in the first prequal? Cant risk pissing off mainstream christian america now can we, even through this went right over their heads first time around. Cant have large numbers of ordinary Jedi fading onto a higher plane when they die either, thats just going to confuse the little children that are our new target audience.

Dooku was another mistake. The pick a good actor and give him the same dumb role he gets in everything else. He should have been written as a Jedi with more vision, he can see a war coming, but things are clouded and he can't see how it starts, so he sets up the clone project, he can see the senite being currupted by the sith but can't do anything about it, so he moves sides. To kill off a lot of potential dilemmas by making him student sith number #2, and having everything he does just part of the sith lords plan makes for really poor plot. If you control a massive driod army, and a massive clone army, why both with the senate at all? Let the two sides batter eachother into tatters and walk in with the clone army and take control directly. Of course thats not 'evil' enough and regardless of how incredably smart the bad guy has to be in order to set up the plot of the film they always have to take the more evil road over the most likley to work. This is to avoid confusing the general public with concepts like subtle morality. The bad guy is evil because evil people dont have a right to life so you can kill them at the end, they are successful because people arnt praying hard enough. Anyone get the impression these excuses have been used since before the crusades?

I'm going to end this post now, I'm rapidly moving from coherent ranting to incoherent ranting. I will ask a question though, in other peoples opinion, who would have best part written/directed the 3rd prequal? For my money its Tim Burton. I think He'd really go to town on the 'your advanced civilisation is going to hell in a gothic handbasket and things are just going to keep getting steadily worse for the next 20 years". I dont think anyone else would have had the guts to finish on the dark and depressed vibe implied by the first film. Maybe when lucas dies someone will remake these. Not that I would advocate speading that process up of course.

[Marvin]

The original three were damn good. The more I read or hear about the actual process that lead up to them though, the less I am convinced of Lucas' genius. Many of the iconic moments of the first film happened totally by accident, or wern't in the script on start of filming and were added on a whim at the last moment. Harrison ford as Han Solo, who could have done a better job? And the set carpenter got to be in the film when the guy actually cast as Han didn't show up. Or how about Obe-Wan moving to a higher plane of existance? Most of the second film was going to be him teaching Luke the ways of the force. Last moment, kill him off and for the second film had to invent Yoda. How fundamental to the way the first two films worked was that very late in the day script change! How about Jabba the hut? A human in the first film but ended up on the cutting room floor which was very fortunate given how well the later incarnation worked.

The more I hear about the process the more I think Lucas isnt a genius, he did a lor right and was very very lucky with everything else. He was smart enough to see where the money was and go into toys and start up compaies like LucasArts, Industrial light and magic....

The first prequal was a nightmare, comittie thinking and ended up making a 2 hour toy commercial. Leia was apricess so her mother has to be a queen, but being a queen isnt democratic and god knows that every advanced civilisation would choose to do things exactly like america does it now. So Amidala is queen because she's been voted queen for a short period of time - or something to that effect in fudged explanations of why she is nolonger queen in the second prequal - conviently before she's old enough to buy alcohol or lose her virginity in what must be a cross between presidential elections and a beauty pagent for the benifit of culturally ingrained pedaphilia.

In the third film Lucas seems to want to tie up every loose end, leave things as happy as they can be under the circumstances while including cameos of every successfull creature he's ever invented. He also wants to suck all the events from the empires rule to completely neuter them. Theyre supposed to stand around for what must be 2 decades while that death star gets partially completed even though we are supposed to believe they can whip up a second 'fully operational' one at a moments notice for 'episode 6'.

Its beyond stupidity, its corperate thinking. Its artificially bending things out fo shape to make them happier, kinder, more saleable and politically correct. If Anakin gets his pinch as soon as he turns to the dark side wtf is he doing while his son is growing up? Does he learn nothing at all more about thw ays of the dark side? How the hell can Yoda throw electricity in the second one, its practically made clear in the last film thats a perk of joining the dark side. Its unsubtle, its not honerable. Its a sith trick, its not something Jedi masters send away for with a certain number of cerial tokens. Dooku was able to learn it in the decade or so it took the clones to grow up since he joined the Dark side, but in the time Luke takes to grow up Vader, supposedly much more in touch with the force than any Jedi previously or since never aparently learns it in the much longer time it takes Luke to grow up.

Or course Yoda has to be captured and escape because the idea he survived the massacre by running away, or being too far away when the war started wouldnt be very 'patriotic american' even though this would make much more sense given what we know from the original films, he is after all hiding, cowering if you will, on a planet in the middle of nowhere during what he knows are the very last few years of his life.

How about turning the force from the religion with very real benifits into a blood disease in the first prequal? Cant risk pissing off mainstream christian america now can we, even through this went right over their heads first time around. Cant have large numbers of ordinary Jedi fading onto a higher plane when they die either, thats just going to confuse the little children that are our new target audience.

Dooku was another mistake. The pick a good actor and give him the same dumb role he gets in everything else. He should have been written as a Jedi with more vision, he can see a war coming, but things are clouded and he can't see how it starts, so he sets up the clone project, he can see the senite being currupted by the sith but can't do anything about it, so he moves sides. To kill off a lot of potential dilemmas by making him student sith number #2, and having everything he does just part of the sith lords plan makes for really poor plot. If you control a massive driod army, and a massive clone army, why both with the senate at all? Let the two sides batter eachother into tatters and walk in with the clone army and take control directly. Of course thats not 'evil' enough and regardless of how incredably smart the bad guy has to be in order to set up the plot of the film they always have to take the more evil road over the most likley to work. This is to avoid confusing the general public with concepts like subtle morality. The bad guy is evil because evil people dont have a right to life so you can kill them at the end, they are successful because people arnt praying hard enough. Anyone get the impression these excuses have been used since before the crusades?

I'm going to end this post now, I'm rapidly moving from coherent ranting to incoherent ranting. I will ask a question though, in other peoples opinion, who would have best part written/directed the 3rd prequal? For my money its Tim Burton. I think He'd really go to town on the 'your advanced civilisation is going to hell in a gothic handbasket and things are just going to keep getting steadily worse for the next 20 years". I dont think anyone else would have had the guts to finish on the dark and depressed vibe implied by the first film. Maybe when lucas dies someone will remake these. Not that I would advocate speading that process up of course.

[megalomania]

Let us never forget Lucas is responsible for unleashing Jar Jar Binks upon us! More time has passed in the real world between the 2 trilogies than passes in the movies themselves, and Jar Jar is the best they can come up with? Oh sure, he helps McDonalds sell hamburgers, but you sell a little bit of your soul pandering to the kiddies with that crap.

For spectucular special effects the movie gets an A, but somewhere along the way the plot was lost. Every action flick Hollywood churns out nowadays gets an A for special effects, but you still won't find a plot.

I could not resist, though. I don't often go to the theatre since it is a big waste of money, but I got caught up in the excitment. I got my tickets a week early for the midnight showing. It was a packed house and I counted 12 light sabers (the light up toys) and at least 2 people dressed as Jedi. By 12:30 the movie still had not started and the crowd was restless. The theatre was giving away light up spoons (I guess they were supposed to look like light sabers) and so two of the weirdos dressed as Jedi went up to the front and started to duel. They got booed and pelted with popcorn. At around 12:35 the movie started... no, now they showed crummy COMMERCIALS! Then came the previews, and finally the movie.

It is a good thing it was at midnight as this gave me the chance to wear my jacket. I was overflowing with candy and liquid refreshments. I'll be damned if I am paying $5 for a candy bar that I can get next door for $1!

[megalomania]

Let us never forget Lucas is responsible for unleashing Jar Jar Binks upon us! More time has passed in the real world between the 2 trilogies than passes in the movies themselves, and Jar Jar is the best they can come up with? Oh sure, he helps McDonalds sell hamburgers, but you sell a little bit of your soul pandering to the kiddies with that crap.

For spectucular special effects the movie gets an A, but somewhere along the way the plot was lost. Every action flick Hollywood churns out nowadays gets an A for special effects, but you still won't find a plot.

I could not resist, though. I don't often go to the theatre since it is a big waste of money, but I got caught up in the excitment. I got my tickets a week early for the midnight showing. It was a packed house and I counted 12 light sabers (the light up toys) and at least 2 people dressed as Jedi. By 12:30 the movie still had not started and the crowd was restless. The theatre was giving away light up spoons (I guess they were supposed to look like light sabers) and so two of the weirdos dressed as Jedi went up to the front and started to duel. They got booed and pelted with popcorn. At around 12:35 the movie started... no, now they showed crummy COMMERCIALS! Then came the previews, and finally the movie.

It is a good thing it was at midnight as this gave me the chance to wear my jacket. I was overflowing with candy and liquid refreshments. I'll be damned if I am paying $5 for a candy bar that I can get next door for $1!

[Chris The Great]

I also ended up seeing it around midnight on the first night. Me and my friends got back row center seats, aka the best in the theatre. There was a guy dressed in a complete Vader costume, looked damn good as it wasn't some cheapass costume, but looked like something they'd put in the movie (except he was a little too short, needed those fancy boots to make him taller). Another guy was in a similar stormtrooper costume, but unfortunately lacked a gun to go with it. There was a "jedi" duel in the theatre because everyone was sick of watching commercials for so long, which was pretty funny especially with some fat guy betting money on the winner and one of the guys screaming out battlecries and such.

The special effects and all the killing was good but I was pissed off at a lot of the stuff they put in there, especially the beginning with the missiles. At least it explains why the got their asses kicked in that war. I also hated the ending, it would have been ok with all those scenes but it really should have ended with Vader and the Emperor watching the deathstar. I think it may have been the prototpye under constuction and not the actual death star, which was basically the reactor and superlaser. I really don't want to start on a rant about the superlaser, that really really bugs me. Hyperspace is ok, but the superlaser is the biggest hunk of bullshit and ruins episode 4 for me (in 6 it only blew up ships, that's ok). I remember reading a site about energy requirements and such to destroy a planet, and how much power the death star would need to be able to do what it does. Something on the order a week or something of our suns total energy output, or how many billions of tons of antimatter would need to be used.
Whatever, here's some off topic but interesting reading on the topic:
http://ned.ucam.org/~sdh31/misc/destroy.html
Somewhere is something on the deathstar but I can't find it. Oh well.

I think the moment that stood out the most with my moviegoing experience was a guy in full, elaborate Jedi costume saying "I don't actually like Star Wars, I just wanted to dress up."

[Chris The Great]

I also ended up seeing it around midnight on the first night. Me and my friends got back row center seats, aka the best in the theatre. There was a guy dressed in a complete Vader costume, looked damn good as it wasn't some cheapass costume, but looked like something they'd put in the movie (except he was a little too short, needed those fancy boots to make him taller). Another guy was in a similar stormtrooper costume, but unfortunately lacked a gun to go with it. There was a "jedi" duel in the theatre because everyone was sick of watching commercials for so long, which was pretty funny especially with some fat guy betting money on the winner and one of the guys screaming out battlecries and such.

The special effects and all the killing was good but I was pissed off at a lot of the stuff they put in there, especially the beginning with the missiles. At least it explains why the got their asses kicked in that war. I also hated the ending, it would have been ok with all those scenes but it really should have ended with Vader and the Emperor watching the deathstar. I think it may have been the prototpye under constuction and not the actual death star, which was basically the reactor and superlaser. I really don't want to start on a rant about the superlaser, that really really bugs me. Hyperspace is ok, but the superlaser is the biggest hunk of bullshit and ruins episode 4 for me (in 6 it only blew up ships, that's ok). I remember reading a site about energy requirements and such to destroy a planet, and how much power the death star would need to be able to do what it does. Something on the order a week or something of our suns total energy output, or how many billions of tons of antimatter would need to be used.
Whatever, here's some off topic but interesting reading on the topic:
http://ned.ucam.org/~sdh31/misc/destroy.html
Somewhere is something on the deathstar but I can't find it. Oh well.

I think the moment that stood out the most with my moviegoing experience was a guy in full, elaborate Jedi costume saying "I don't actually like Star Wars, I just wanted to dress up."

[mediumcaliber]

Liquid refreshments... I hadn't thought of that one. I'll have to remember that next time I feel like blowing $6.50.

The reason Grievous is wheezing is actually from some cartoon that was apparently shown in the past few years on Cartoon Network called Clone Wars, or something like that. When Grievous attacks Coruscant to kidnap the Chancellor or whatever he was called at that point, he kicks the shit out of a bunch of jedi and escapes with Palpatine, but at the last moment Windu, who's been tearing dozens of enemies to shit with the force, uses the vader grip and crushes Grievous body/organs, raising a huge question of, "Fuck, why didn't he just do that in the first place?" It wasn't clear at that point that Grievous was part organic, so it seemed even funnier that the robot was *coughing* :)
They let him write and direct it without supervision again, didn't they?

[mediumcaliber]

Liquid refreshments... I hadn't thought of that one. I'll have to remember that next time I feel like blowing $6.50.

The reason Grievous is wheezing is actually from some cartoon that was apparently shown in the past few years on Cartoon Network called Clone Wars, or something like that. When Grievous attacks Coruscant to kidnap the Chancellor or whatever he was called at that point, he kicks the shit out of a bunch of jedi and escapes with Palpatine, but at the last moment Windu, who's been tearing dozens of enemies to shit with the force, uses the vader grip and crushes Grievous body/organs, raising a huge question of, "Fuck, why didn't he just do that in the first place?" It wasn't clear at that point that Grievous was part organic, so it seemed even funnier that the robot was *coughing* :)
They let him write and direct it without supervision again, didn't they?

[Jacks Complete]

What was with the Jedi vs. the missiles in the incredibly long opening scene? It was weird, and weary.

The end could have been sorted out by reversing the two scenes of the baby exchange and the death star, as it would be impossible to tell when the death star construction was started, how far along it all was, etc.

When the two are fighting at the end (Mace Windu and Palaptine) and Anakin walks in, surely Mace should have just countered the lies by saying "There are three dead Jedi behind me, he's lying"!

I thought Grievious was really rather cool. He wasn't wasted, like Dooku, and he had that whole "I hate organics", yet his wheezing gave away his true nature. The monowheel chase thing was totally stupid, but the rest of that bit was cool, and the bit where Grievious pulls out four lightsabers... 8-)

I couldn't believe the whole ship crashing thing either. I kind of expected to see evidence of some kind of force shields or tractor beams kicking in, but bizarrely, no! And what about the hundreds of other falling ships? They won't all have had a pair of Jedi pilots to save the day and pop them on the runway perfectly! And where were the planet's ground based defences? I don't recall seeing any, but would you leave the defence of your home planet to just the ships in orbit?

It tried a bit too hard to tie up loose ends, too, leading to some clumsy bits. One that should have been handled better would have been for Anakin to die limbless and burned, and for Palpatine to bring him back as he faded away, with a bit of a character change from it. That would have made more sense than Anakin going and slaughtering a temple full of kids with a light sabre! I mean, wtf? It's one thing to decide to go to a dark place, but to do that was just beyond the realms of sense. He hasn't had the rage from the death of his wife yet, so what "makes" him go and kill rooms full of defenceless kids with a blade?

He would know about the cameras, and destroy the tapes, too, since he knew about the beacon...

Still, far better than the first ones! (Meaning 1 & 2, not 4, 5, 6, obviously!)

[Jacks Complete]

What was with the Jedi vs. the missiles in the incredibly long opening scene? It was weird, and weary.

The end could have been sorted out by reversing the two scenes of the baby exchange and the death star, as it would be impossible to tell when the death star construction was started, how far along it all was, etc.

When the two are fighting at the end (Mace Windu and Palaptine) and Anakin walks in, surely Mace should have just countered the lies by saying "There are three dead Jedi behind me, he's lying"!

I thought Grievious was really rather cool. He wasn't wasted, like Dooku, and he had that whole "I hate organics", yet his wheezing gave away his true nature. The monowheel chase thing was totally stupid, but the rest of that bit was cool, and the bit where Grievious pulls out four lightsabers... 8-)

I couldn't believe the whole ship crashing thing either. I kind of expected to see evidence of some kind of force shields or tractor beams kicking in, but bizarrely, no! And what about the hundreds of other falling ships? They won't all have had a pair of Jedi pilots to save the day and pop them on the runway perfectly! And where were the planet's ground based defences? I don't recall seeing any, but would you leave the defence of your home planet to just the ships in orbit?

It tried a bit too hard to tie up loose ends, too, leading to some clumsy bits. One that should have been handled better would have been for Anakin to die limbless and burned, and for Palpatine to bring him back as he faded away, with a bit of a character change from it. That would have made more sense than Anakin going and slaughtering a temple full of kids with a light sabre! I mean, wtf? It's one thing to decide to go to a dark place, but to do that was just beyond the realms of sense. He hasn't had the rage from the death of his wife yet, so what "makes" him go and kill rooms full of defenceless kids with a blade?

He would know about the cameras, and destroy the tapes, too, since he knew about the beacon...

Still, far better than the first ones! (Meaning 1 & 2, not 4, 5, 6, obviously!)

[cyclonite4]

I thought ep.3 was alright (better than 1 and 2), but personally, I think the whole thing should have been left at 4, 5 and 6 (naming them 1, 2 and 3 respectively, of course).

[cyclonite4]

I thought ep.3 was alright (better than 1 and 2), but personally, I think the whole thing should have been left at 4, 5 and 6 (naming them 1, 2 and 3 respectively, of course).

[nbk2000]

If they had the fight between Obiwan and Anakin BEFORE the slaughter of the Jedi, but after the 'death' of his children (blamed on Obiwan, of course), so that Anakin would be Vader when he slaughtered the kiddy jedis, that would have made much more sense.

He would be slaughtering the children of the Jedi, in revenge for the death of his children at the hands of a Jedi, and that would explain his intense hatred and being with the Dark side soooo much better.

I think that, of the original three, that Empire was the best.

What would be really cool would be for someone to take all the movies and re-edit them so that the film makes sense, as much as that's possible.

No Jar-Jar, no sappy endings, put things in proper chronology, remove all references to the Force being a blood disease, etc.

Anyone doing that would likely be considered the next Lucas, if only for making sense of the whole thing. :D

[nbk2000]

If they had the fight between Obiwan and Anakin BEFORE the slaughter of the Jedi, but after the 'death' of his children (blamed on Obiwan, of course), so that Anakin would be Vader when he slaughtered the kiddy jedis, that would have made much more sense.

He would be slaughtering the children of the Jedi, in revenge for the death of his children at the hands of a Jedi, and that would explain his intense hatred and being with the Dark side soooo much better.

I think that, of the original three, that Empire was the best.

What would be really cool would be for someone to take all the movies and re-edit them so that the film makes sense, as much as that's possible.

No Jar-Jar, no sappy endings, put things in proper chronology, remove all references to the Force being a blood disease, etc.

Anyone doing that would likely be considered the next Lucas, if only for making sense of the whole thing. :D

[megalomania]

There was a fan release of episode 1 that edited out as much of jar jar as possible.

Originally General Grevious was written as a child, or a being with the appearance of a child. However, the writers doubted that a mere child could be taken seriously as the leader of such a vast war.

I overheard some woman near my seat lamenting how her mother threw away all her star wars action figures. When my mother was young her parents threw away all her stuff, so she vowed to keep all my toys. Consequently I have quite a vast collection of original star wars action figures and vehicles. I always kept my stuff in good condition too (never took it outside, dropped it down the stairs, let peices get lost, etc.).

[megalomania]

There was a fan release of episode 1 that edited out as much of jar jar as possible.

Originally General Grevious was written as a child, or a being with the appearance of a child. However, the writers doubted that a mere child could be taken seriously as the leader of such a vast war.

I overheard some woman near my seat lamenting how her mother threw away all her star wars action figures. When my mother was young her parents threw away all her stuff, so she vowed to keep all my toys. Consequently I have quite a vast collection of original star wars action figures and vehicles. I always kept my stuff in good condition too (never took it outside, dropped it down the stairs, let peices get lost, etc.).

[Jacks Complete]

Anyone doing that would likely be considered the next Lucas, if only for making sense of the whole thing. :D
Surely you meant "considered the next enemy of the State, for bleeding the sacred copyright cow."! ;)

[Jacks Complete]

Anyone doing that would likely be considered the next Lucas, if only for making sense of the whole thing. :D
Surely you meant "considered the next enemy of the State, for bleeding the sacred copyright cow."! ;)

[nbk2000]

The copyright cow is sacred in India. :p

Oh, another thing that pissed me off was how, in the opening space battle, how two ships were doing broadsides at each other, complete with shell loaded cannons! :rolleyes:

And how could the R2's zap the enemy droids with electricity in the vacuum of space? Doesn't electricity need something, anything, to conduct it? Isn't a vacuum by definition a lack of everything? Hmmm...

I remember hearing about the Jar Jar edit. :) If they 'Jar Jar'd this movie, it'd be compact enough to fit on an Speak-and-Spell. :p

[nbk2000]

The copyright cow is sacred in India. :p

Oh, another thing that pissed me off was how, in the opening space battle, how two ships were doing broadsides at each other, complete with shell loaded cannons! :rolleyes:

And how could the R2's zap the enemy droids with electricity in the vacuum of space? Doesn't electricity need something, anything, to conduct it? Isn't a vacuum by definition a lack of everything? Hmmm...

I remember hearing about the Jar Jar edit. :) If they 'Jar Jar'd this movie, it'd be compact enough to fit on an Speak-and-Spell. :p

[megalomania]

I kind of liked the ships doing manual broadsides at one another. I did wonder why they wern't just using automatic lasers like EVERY other space battleship in every sci-fi movie or book ever made (OK so they used torpedos in Wing Commander, but they arn't fired manually). It presented a nice visual effect, and there will probably be a toy ships cannon for them to sell (it lights up and makes battle noises, only $29.95!).

I just realized why they made the uniforms different on the clone troops in episodes 2/3: they can sell a new toy now, along with the modern storm troopers we all know and love.

[megalomania]

I kind of liked the ships doing manual broadsides at one another. I did wonder why they wern't just using automatic lasers like EVERY other space battleship in every sci-fi movie or book ever made (OK so they used torpedos in Wing Commander, but they arn't fired manually). It presented a nice visual effect, and there will probably be a toy ships cannon for them to sell (it lights up and makes battle noises, only $29.95!).

I just realized why they made the uniforms different on the clone troops in episodes 2/3: they can sell a new toy now, along with the modern storm troopers we all know and love.

[Flake2m]

I watched that movie and while overall the dialogue was very average, I couldn't help get this feeling that the dialogue about How the Jedi are supposed to protect the Republic and not the Emperor was trying to take the piss outa GWB. It wasn't done very well, but could of been a very powerful message about politics.

The Openning Battle was spectacular, but didn't quite have enough in it. Like the Clone battle in EPII, it seemed to short and focused on the characters. It have been done much better if it had been a little longer and focused more on the capital ships blowing each other apart then Obi-wan and Anakin being chased by missiles. The part where the ships are broad siding each other was shocking and could have made that battle awesome IMO.

I also agree with about how Anakin slaughter all the kids in the Jedi temple was stupid, but then again Lucus wanted the viewers to See Darth vader at the last minute and not halfway through the movie as that would have spoiled the effect IMO.

The movie was better then the first two, but EP5 is still the best.

[Flake2m]

I watched that movie and while overall the dialogue was very average, I couldn't help get this feeling that the dialogue about How the Jedi are supposed to protect the Republic and not the Emperor was trying to take the piss outa GWB. It wasn't done very well, but could of been a very powerful message about politics.

The Openning Battle was spectacular, but didn't quite have enough in it. Like the Clone battle in EPII, it seemed to short and focused on the characters. It have been done much better if it had been a little longer and focused more on the capital ships blowing each other apart then Obi-wan and Anakin being chased by missiles. The part where the ships are broad siding each other was shocking and could have made that battle awesome IMO.

I also agree with about how Anakin slaughter all the kids in the Jedi temple was stupid, but then again Lucus wanted the viewers to See Darth vader at the last minute and not halfway through the movie as that would have spoiled the effect IMO.

The movie was better then the first two, but EP5 is still the best.

[Jacks Complete]

Hehehe, I thought that too! Was George trying to make a point about Iraq? I certainly thought so.

[Jacks Complete]

Hehehe, I thought that too! Was George trying to make a point about Iraq? I certainly thought so.

[Third_Rail]

I downloaded SW3 the week it came online, watched a few minutes and then deleted it. I couldn't stand to finish it... guess I'm just an annoyed ex-fan, though!

[Third_Rail]

I downloaded SW3 the week it came online, watched a few minutes and then deleted it. I couldn't stand to finish it... guess I'm just an annoyed ex-fan, though!