Where do I start in this...thing of mine?

[royalman987]

So I'm now activated, and I am ready to take on the world and its dogs.

Anyway, I need help on several topics.

-I've been "awake" for a while, but I don't know where to start.

I have no knowledge of weapons or explosives, no knowledge of false identification...all i know about is forensics and custom computers.

Can anyone point me in the right direction?

(This is truely a water cooler post...)

[knowledgehungry]

I believe This (http://www.roguesci.org/theforum/water-cooler/2774-newbies-forums-unwritten-rules-written-down.html)is what you are looking for.

[nbk2000]

I let one through to observe its movements in the lab.

Let's see if intense predatory pressure accelerates its evolution, or if it proves to be a dead-end. ;)

[Chaosmark]

Depends on it's evolutionary path. I've found that most often, the prey tends to turn and fight, which leads to premature extinction. Think this one will be smarter?

Random thought: Do you include death as part of the evolutionary chain? If so, your particular predatory pressure might accelerate his evolution a tad bit too far. :p

[royalman987]

Yes, I read all of the rules BEFORE i signed up. ;)

But I guess I'll figure it out eventually.

[festergrump]

...An interesting study, Dr. NBK.

Might I respectfully suggest exposing the subject to about 490 pgs of COPAE to study the effect of renewed vigor just before end of the life cycle appears imminent?

Moreso, I'd personally like to study the varied affects between UTFSE and COPAE in such a subject as this to see if such exposure to the latter has a more promising effect in long-term general health than forcefed doses of UTFSE. In fact, I theorize that exposure to COPAE at such an early stage of the life cycle of a specimen will actually boost natural production of UTFSE in most cases...

Only time will tell, but this should be most interesting, indeed...

[Cobalt.45]

Extreme environmental pressure may cause grub to pupate prematurely. Long odds of maturing to adulthood, but if it survives, will a butterfly or a blowfly emerge?

[nbk2000]

Unfortunately, the test subject has already been devoured by the hungry Xenomorphic predator.

In a PM, the test subject made squeaks that drew the predators attention to it. Never wise to make prey sounds in the presence of a predator.

To the soul of the prey, the Xeno would like to suggest this:

http://www.righteouswarriortemple.org/New%20Folder/hman.htm

Couldn't even survive an online forum for more than 2 posts. What hope did it have of becoming a Hitman? :rolleyes:

And that's not even including the i/I failure. :D

Nice to see that, even when given a chance to survive, k3lz self-select against survival. :p

[megalomania]

I was going to say, how did a post like that slip through? I thought for an instant I was back on alt.engr.explosives in 1997.

It is far more entertaining to let one in every now and again. You should select a new subject :)

What was that story where the men make a wager to make a sophisticated man (or was it woman) out of a commoner? And I don't mean the movie Trading Places.

[Bert]

Pygmalion. "The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain".

[Diabolique]

A fool can appear wise by keeping his mouth shut.
A wise man can appear a fool by opening it.

[c.Tech]

It may just be me, I think I’m a just bit stupid :o, but I haven’t been able to pick up on what this thread means yet.

I have a vague idea but nothing that explains.

What’s its purpose? What is this guy asking? :confused:

I’m filled with confusion, please I need some answers.

[nbk2000]

The point is that yet another moronic k3wL has falling into the gaping maw of Hot Electron Death at the hands of the predatory Natrilium Born Killius. ;) :D

[megalomania]

What this kewl wanted to know, what he wanted handed to him on a silver platter, is basicially everything The Forum has been discussing for the past 7 years!

Some idiots when presented with material to read will opt to ignore such hard work. He is rather like the person who tosses aside the instruction manual when assembling a complicated item, and then calls customer service to help him complete what he could just as easily have done had he read the manual in the first place.

Understand this, my friends, this type of question is not a rare aberration, oh my no. The staff are constantly screening out such base filth to shield your sensitive eyes from the tedium of having to disregard such stupidity.

Everyone that posts a post that does not get through always blames me for technical problems. They think The Forum is broken when their first post does not go through IMMEDIATELY, which does not suit their desires. They wonder why after registering, and failing to bother replying to the verification email, that none of the posts are visable anymore. They ask me by the dozens every week the same questions over and over that are explained in the rules they never bothered to read when they signed up.

This utter disregard for my time, and complete lack of respect, not to mention egregious display of stupidity, is very taxing on my nerves. People like this are why we have such harsh rules.

You think the occasional post by a member that gets banned is such a barbaric display of our evil. “Oh woas me, nbk is so mean. I didn’t do anything wrong. i dew uSe gremmer.” What goes on publicly is just the tip of the iceberg. I swear, maybe there is a valid reason for public schools to censor access to the Internet if it keeps the god damned kindergartners away from here.

[Diabolique]

Would it help if a 'newborn' to the site were told in the very first line he/she gets to read after registering is that the rules are hard because of the nature of the subject matter? Confusion, inaccuracy and ignorance can cost someone fingers. Far better an electronic death than being vaporized, and drifting off into history.

[Bert]

I kind of enjoy seeing the slow and stupid suffer HED. Llike winter up north, a filter that keeps the very stupid from multiplying.

In other news, the local paper had this gem today.
http://www.startribune.com/462/story/647341.html
ALBERT LEA, Minn. — Police in Albert Lea are seeking felony charges against two 16-year-old boys arrested for making bottle bombs.
Police say they got a call last night around 10 p.m. from someone who heard a loud blast. They say they found the two boys with bomb-making materials including plastic bottles, drain cleaner and foil.

Police say they had enough material to make nine more bombs.



I expect that my activities at age 16 would have been good for a sentence to life with no parole if carried out today.

[megalomania]

There was a man who was arrested, tried, and convicted on federal explosives charges for the same thing I believe about a year or two ago. The conviction was overturned in appeal since those items are not actually explosives. Nobody bothered to check the definition of what an explosive is. A pressurized bottle does not an explosive make...

[pearlcrash911]

Just this year two kids from my town were caught making "bombs" out of water bottles and dry ice. Early police reports stated that they were likely going to get 7 years in jail.

I'm still wondering what they were charged with, since it can't be explosives charges.

[nbk2000]

A pressurized bottle does not an explosive make...


Actually, in some states, not only are pressurized bottles considered an explosive or infernal device, but so is any object that ruptures from freezing a liquid contained therein (the cast-iron ice 'bomb' demo, for instance)

So, while the contents may not be explosive in the way WE consider the definition, if it makes a bang, it is, regardless of the means by which it does so.

And as far as warnings for n00bs... :rolleyes:

No matter how much you tell 'em, at sign-up, in the confrimation e-mail, at the top of every section, at the end of every post I make, a section dedicated to fuckups (BFL), and an ongoing thread showing the current days prey, they STILL keep coming.

There's a point at which further expenditures of effort to warn them yields diminishing returns.

We've already reached that point.

Diabolique, considering how you yourself managed to almost get banned, you should be thankful for having survived your brush with the Beast, and (hopefully) having learned from it. :)

[Chaosmark]

Would it help if a 'newborn' to the site were told in the very first line he/she gets to read after registering is that the rules are hard because of the nature of the subject matter?
First rule of programming: the user is an idiot. Second rule of programming: the user never reads anything. Ever.

It doesn't matter what all you try to do, no-one ever truly reads. It seems really stupid to those of us who do, but it's a fact of life. And so we end up banning an infinite number of morons who can't get it through their heads that they need to read the rules.

[Diabolique]

Part of the problem is that this site is so facinating. That was the underlaying cause of my brush with electron death. It is far too easy to get carried away. Being opinionated doesn't help, either.

Maybe an enforced period of just reading posts, followed by limiting the number of posts during a probation period, if the software permits.

The user interface is always the greatest problem in writing software, Chaosmark. Properly done, the program can catch the vast majority of user errors, and then explain what it needs. Maybe something similar to a mentoring system would help, clearing a newbie's first few posts before they are posted, and newbie gets to feed nbk's apatite. However, if the detail of a hundred or more registrations a day is correct, this mentoring would break down.

[Bert]

Considering the unforgiving nature of the procedures, materials and devices under discussion here, any change to site procedures or filtering method that is designed to help the STUPID, INATTENTIVE, dangerously OVER EXUBERANT or merely UNPREPARED continue on in spite of their qualities (or lack of quality!) is not doing them or their neighbors any service.

SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE HERE. As currently constituted, they are freely allowed to eliminate themselves. This is a GOOD thing.

But then I have always wanted to give all 17 year old girls hand guns and exclude them from any related murder charges. Perhaps I am just bloody minded.

[megalomania]

I explain our rules and policies in oh so many ways before a newb signs up, but I still get hammered with emails every day asking the exact same questions every time. I make tweaks here and there, and I have some more extreme measures coming, but it takes me a lot of time to implement these measures to insure newbs know what is what.

Quite frankly this is time I could be using setting up a better torrent system, building the Forum library, organizing the FTP, and adding new information to my website. I waste this time because I hate to lose potential knowledgeable members, but it seems like all I end up doing is coddling kewls and others with no patience to read anything.

Still, perhaps it is an impossible dream, but maybe, just maybe, if I cram enough of our rules down the newbs throats I can make them understand.

Alas, I fear those who are smart “get it” without all the rule cramming, and those who are stupid will never get it.

One more thing I should add just to clarify how things work around here: Your opinions (by this I mean newbs in general) do not amount to anything around here. All I admire and respect is scientific information, facts, and figures. If you stick to this, you will be fine. It is only when people think I created The Forum to be a sounding board for YOUR opinions that they run afoul of HED, and my eternal ire. The Forum is a venue for MY opinions, my thoughts, and my ideologies, and for those of like minded temperament. This is not a democratic meeting hall where anything goes. I pay the bills, I do the work, I built this place, The Forum is my home. Like my dad says, “my house, my rules.”

The political philosophy of The Forum has always been “enlightened despotism.” I have the power to ban anyone, anytime, for any reason, or no reason at all. This makes me a despot. I tolerate many things because I want to encourage free and open discussion to a certain extent I already outlined. I do not ban anyone for no reason at all. This is the enlightened part. I have the power to destroy, my word is law, but I always try to exercise it fairly under established guidelines. The rule of King Arthur is one example of an enlightened despot. Absolute power wielded with a calm and fair hand.

[nbk2000]

"Enlightened Despotism" is a synonym for "Aristocracy". :)

Thus, the King has spoken. :D

I've always imagined it more like Pharoh (Yul Brynner) laying down The Law in the Ten Commandments:

So let it be written, so let it be done!

[Diabolique]

Mega gave me an idea that may help. Create a software filter that would examine the posts of all but a select few for keywords, such as that four lettered one nbk hates so much. Any post with a banned word would be forwarded to a monitor, who would examin it, and either allow posting, or forward the individual for feeding the beast.

This would be similar in function to e-mail filters that eliminate spam. It might take some of the workload off you.

[jellywerker]

Diabolique: Do you remember posting as a true noob, such as I am? If one creates a post in the quick reply or advanced reply page, when you press post, you are taken to a page wherein you can revise your post, along with a detailed warning and links to the rules. If people don't pay attention to something as large as that, would you trust them with the information for something dangerous that requires minute attention to every little detail? As Bert said, "SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE HERE." I wholeheartedly agree, though it has nothing to do with me wanting to keep knowledge out of people's hands, but rather that they keep their hands to do something useful.

My point: more than enough warning measures are given, if they fail to see to see at least one of them, they are a danger to themselves from lack of attention, and should find something else to do.