Match
October 3rd, 2006, 01:10 PM
I'd like to recount an interesting **fictitious** story from recently, a series of unfortunate events in which not only was a buddy of mine accused of being a mastermind-genius-rich-kid, but also a terrorist. I'll refer to this man as 'Em'
Match heads, awe, the glory. Who would have thought that a couple hundred match heads crammed into an empty permanent marker would be so enjoyable for a youth. Em was hooked.
Fast forward 6 years later. No longer did this simple endeavor satisfy Em's needs for learning, like human nature demands, Em needed more. The plan was to discover the true destructive power of these little globs on the end of a stick. Revisiting his youth, using tin snips, match book upon match book, 20 matches at a time were devilishly harvested.
Two thousand match heads crammed into a ¾” diameter x 4” threaded pipe capped with 'mushroom' style caps detonated with your common birthday sparkler results in failure. The caps simply shoot off (with great force) leaving the pipe intact. Em's spirits were down but not out.
With a all or nothing attitude, Em and his friend acquire a 2" diameter x 6" threaded pipe, the ends are no longer 'mushroom' caps but cast iron couplers with cast iron threaded plugs. Loosely filled with approx. fifteen thousand match heads, Em doesn't know it yet, but he's never felt this much power before. Again the incredibly simple birthday cake sparkler is used.
Out to one of Ems detonation areas, Em places the device in a double ply plastic free news paper stand which he had borrowed several weeks before. The fuse is set, the door is closed. Cowering behind an overturned grain storage unit, located 30' away-Em waist patiently. 90 seconds resembles 20 minutes, Em feels as though he can hear his accomplices heart beating. '...I don't think it worked.'
Suddenly, without warning, the complete silence of the night is broken. A pressure on the chest, the sound of metal whirling overhead at seemingly a million miles an hour. This is, with out a doubt, the best high Em has ever felt. A natural high. Sex, drugs and rock and roll do not compare. '...Jesus Christ, it actually worked.'
Even though Em was 6 hours past due for bed, He did not sleep for another 10 hours. He simply basked in the most pure high ever, in final realization that such simplicity, that of explosives, can have so much power.
This high is so addicting, is it the danger, the rush, the power? Something keeps Em coming back. Em and his friend make a pact, in the spirit of Theodore Kaczynski, not to shave their beards (dubbed 'bomb-beard-os’) until they detonate a third and final device.
The bright idea arises to film the construction and immediate scene after detonation. For Em’s own records and perhaps to release anonymously on the internet. (In typical kewl fashion.) The hour long process is filmed, making sure not to show any faces, the sound is left on. (with intentions to edit it out on the public version and speed up the tape.) During this time, a ‘ between us and only us’ conversation takes place/ Racial slurs, bomb theory, and detailed planning takes place. Several violations of the RTPB doctrine take place.
Em and his friend set out like before, with a fresh tape loaded in the camera and the bomb disassembled and hidden in plain sight in the 2 vehicle convoy. Stroking their Bomb-beard-os, the detonation occurs flawlessly. EM films the scene, showing remnants of what once was solid steel. The same high is felt and Em heads home to bask in its heavenly glow.
The two tapes are turned into one and Em sleeps like a baby. The following night Em decides to go and video tape Brian, Em’s favorite bum who lives under some old rail cars in the city’s industrial heartland. He’s always good for a laugh and will put on quite the display for the camera. Em asks his friend to switch in a new tape before they leave.
Brian appears to have moved on, Em checks out the surrounding area and discovers something out of place- A large compound, with a 3 story building and small 1000 sq foot building at the rear, bustling with activity. The people appear to be of middle eastern decent and to Em, appear to be performing a very odd ritual with children in the building located at the back of compound.
Using the grapple Em had in the vehicle Em scales an adjacent warehouse for a better look. Using the zoom and night shot feature of the camera Em observes for around 10 minutes. When leaving, Em’s presence is detected. Shouting erupts and a middle eastern man enters one of the vehicles and proceeds in the direction of where Em’ vehicle is located. Em makes a decision to take their planned exit strategy and run across the street and down a rail way corridor lined with barbwire fence.
A vehicle gives chase down the rail way line and after Em felt as though he was going to die, said vehicle flashed it’s lights and bleeped their sirens. Relief, Em stops and abides by the peace officers requests. Em’s previous activities are unbeknownst to cops. All Em and his friend have on them is cash, and cell phones. Em is accused of running from a drug deal… Right on…because Em would definitely have a video camera in that case.
The pigs quickly review the video tape; they wish to search Em’s vehicle. Em abides. They find about 200 cut up match heads, and Em tells them they are for quote unquote “Throwing into a fire because it does cool stuff”
The cop dumps them on the ground and showing off to his fellow pork, he vigorously stomps them out, and pronounces “You can’t have these.” So involved in his own self glorification, he fails to realize his actions have an equal and opposite reaction and the matches alight. He saved himself from burns, barely.
Said ‘upholder’ of the law also fails to recover a bag containing all the shrapnel from a previously exploded device, a couple caps and couplers from an unexploded device, fuse, sparklers, wire, tools, and several pieces of glassware.
They release Em and his friend and proclaim they will formally review the video tape later.
Upon reaching home base, Em checks to make sure that Em has the bomb making tape… Shit Shit! Shit! Lesson learned, never trust anyone. Em supposes it’s probably not a wise idea to video tape potentially illegal activities either.
A frantic purging takes place, evidence is properly disposed of and Em formulates a strategy of lies to tell the authorities in the long interviews Em knows are coming and dreads. 1 am in the morning, cops call Em, They can’t (or don’t want to) find Em’s house and ask Em to meet them at a disserted gas station, Em dress’ up in his most ‘casual yet sophisticated’ clothing, Em finds the police parked in the darkest possible area and he meets them there. The next closest thing to a cavity search and they place Em in the back. Em feels a long night coming on.
In following of the almost classical Clinton approach, Em plans to ‘Deny! Deny! Deny!” But, as soon as they sit down, what begins is something Em is not prepared for.
Accusing Em of attempted terrorism, they continually ask “where are the bombs?” “Why are you doing surveillance on the Islamic school?” “Are you going to blow up the Islamic school?” “WHERE ARE THE BOMBS?”
Using cunning improv, In a calm demeanor Em explains the tape and explains how Em were making ‘an art film’ and that all the ‘scenes’ on the tape were either staged or faked. Em comes up with very convincing rebuttals to all their (very weak) arguments. They then ask to search Em’s vehicle again, wishing to seize the parts they didn’t grab the first time around. Em loves it.
They then wish to search Em’s garage, this is all optional of course as they have no warrant. Em again abides, and they look over everything and fail to notice several bomb making parts (Em uses these for legit purposes as well) including the first unsuccessful bomb sitting in plain sight. They then ask to speak with Em’s mother whom he still lives with, and proceed to tell her lies and use scare tactics in an effort to get a confession out of her. Nice try pigs.
They then go looking for Em’s friend, he doesn’t answer his door. The next day they call him down to the station; a couple investigators in suits use every tactic in the book and hold him for a good 10 hours. They try and tell him that Em is some rich kid and Em is ‘using him for evil plans.’ The bacon also believes Em is an ‘evil genius’ as they have never seen anyone using match heads and because Em seen in the video weighing matches and recounting complicated bomb theory. Complicated match head pipe bomb theory, lol.
It’s been along time since all of this happened to Em and he was never charged. Will he take up his hobby in chemistry and explosives again?....
Well maybe once the heat dies down.
Match heads, awe, the glory. Who would have thought that a couple hundred match heads crammed into an empty permanent marker would be so enjoyable for a youth. Em was hooked.
Fast forward 6 years later. No longer did this simple endeavor satisfy Em's needs for learning, like human nature demands, Em needed more. The plan was to discover the true destructive power of these little globs on the end of a stick. Revisiting his youth, using tin snips, match book upon match book, 20 matches at a time were devilishly harvested.
Two thousand match heads crammed into a ¾” diameter x 4” threaded pipe capped with 'mushroom' style caps detonated with your common birthday sparkler results in failure. The caps simply shoot off (with great force) leaving the pipe intact. Em's spirits were down but not out.
With a all or nothing attitude, Em and his friend acquire a 2" diameter x 6" threaded pipe, the ends are no longer 'mushroom' caps but cast iron couplers with cast iron threaded plugs. Loosely filled with approx. fifteen thousand match heads, Em doesn't know it yet, but he's never felt this much power before. Again the incredibly simple birthday cake sparkler is used.
Out to one of Ems detonation areas, Em places the device in a double ply plastic free news paper stand which he had borrowed several weeks before. The fuse is set, the door is closed. Cowering behind an overturned grain storage unit, located 30' away-Em waist patiently. 90 seconds resembles 20 minutes, Em feels as though he can hear his accomplices heart beating. '...I don't think it worked.'
Suddenly, without warning, the complete silence of the night is broken. A pressure on the chest, the sound of metal whirling overhead at seemingly a million miles an hour. This is, with out a doubt, the best high Em has ever felt. A natural high. Sex, drugs and rock and roll do not compare. '...Jesus Christ, it actually worked.'
Even though Em was 6 hours past due for bed, He did not sleep for another 10 hours. He simply basked in the most pure high ever, in final realization that such simplicity, that of explosives, can have so much power.
This high is so addicting, is it the danger, the rush, the power? Something keeps Em coming back. Em and his friend make a pact, in the spirit of Theodore Kaczynski, not to shave their beards (dubbed 'bomb-beard-os’) until they detonate a third and final device.
The bright idea arises to film the construction and immediate scene after detonation. For Em’s own records and perhaps to release anonymously on the internet. (In typical kewl fashion.) The hour long process is filmed, making sure not to show any faces, the sound is left on. (with intentions to edit it out on the public version and speed up the tape.) During this time, a ‘ between us and only us’ conversation takes place/ Racial slurs, bomb theory, and detailed planning takes place. Several violations of the RTPB doctrine take place.
Em and his friend set out like before, with a fresh tape loaded in the camera and the bomb disassembled and hidden in plain sight in the 2 vehicle convoy. Stroking their Bomb-beard-os, the detonation occurs flawlessly. EM films the scene, showing remnants of what once was solid steel. The same high is felt and Em heads home to bask in its heavenly glow.
The two tapes are turned into one and Em sleeps like a baby. The following night Em decides to go and video tape Brian, Em’s favorite bum who lives under some old rail cars in the city’s industrial heartland. He’s always good for a laugh and will put on quite the display for the camera. Em asks his friend to switch in a new tape before they leave.
Brian appears to have moved on, Em checks out the surrounding area and discovers something out of place- A large compound, with a 3 story building and small 1000 sq foot building at the rear, bustling with activity. The people appear to be of middle eastern decent and to Em, appear to be performing a very odd ritual with children in the building located at the back of compound.
Using the grapple Em had in the vehicle Em scales an adjacent warehouse for a better look. Using the zoom and night shot feature of the camera Em observes for around 10 minutes. When leaving, Em’s presence is detected. Shouting erupts and a middle eastern man enters one of the vehicles and proceeds in the direction of where Em’ vehicle is located. Em makes a decision to take their planned exit strategy and run across the street and down a rail way corridor lined with barbwire fence.
A vehicle gives chase down the rail way line and after Em felt as though he was going to die, said vehicle flashed it’s lights and bleeped their sirens. Relief, Em stops and abides by the peace officers requests. Em’s previous activities are unbeknownst to cops. All Em and his friend have on them is cash, and cell phones. Em is accused of running from a drug deal… Right on…because Em would definitely have a video camera in that case.
The pigs quickly review the video tape; they wish to search Em’s vehicle. Em abides. They find about 200 cut up match heads, and Em tells them they are for quote unquote “Throwing into a fire because it does cool stuff”
The cop dumps them on the ground and showing off to his fellow pork, he vigorously stomps them out, and pronounces “You can’t have these.” So involved in his own self glorification, he fails to realize his actions have an equal and opposite reaction and the matches alight. He saved himself from burns, barely.
Said ‘upholder’ of the law also fails to recover a bag containing all the shrapnel from a previously exploded device, a couple caps and couplers from an unexploded device, fuse, sparklers, wire, tools, and several pieces of glassware.
They release Em and his friend and proclaim they will formally review the video tape later.
Upon reaching home base, Em checks to make sure that Em has the bomb making tape… Shit Shit! Shit! Lesson learned, never trust anyone. Em supposes it’s probably not a wise idea to video tape potentially illegal activities either.
A frantic purging takes place, evidence is properly disposed of and Em formulates a strategy of lies to tell the authorities in the long interviews Em knows are coming and dreads. 1 am in the morning, cops call Em, They can’t (or don’t want to) find Em’s house and ask Em to meet them at a disserted gas station, Em dress’ up in his most ‘casual yet sophisticated’ clothing, Em finds the police parked in the darkest possible area and he meets them there. The next closest thing to a cavity search and they place Em in the back. Em feels a long night coming on.
In following of the almost classical Clinton approach, Em plans to ‘Deny! Deny! Deny!” But, as soon as they sit down, what begins is something Em is not prepared for.
Accusing Em of attempted terrorism, they continually ask “where are the bombs?” “Why are you doing surveillance on the Islamic school?” “Are you going to blow up the Islamic school?” “WHERE ARE THE BOMBS?”
Using cunning improv, In a calm demeanor Em explains the tape and explains how Em were making ‘an art film’ and that all the ‘scenes’ on the tape were either staged or faked. Em comes up with very convincing rebuttals to all their (very weak) arguments. They then ask to search Em’s vehicle again, wishing to seize the parts they didn’t grab the first time around. Em loves it.
They then wish to search Em’s garage, this is all optional of course as they have no warrant. Em again abides, and they look over everything and fail to notice several bomb making parts (Em uses these for legit purposes as well) including the first unsuccessful bomb sitting in plain sight. They then ask to speak with Em’s mother whom he still lives with, and proceed to tell her lies and use scare tactics in an effort to get a confession out of her. Nice try pigs.
They then go looking for Em’s friend, he doesn’t answer his door. The next day they call him down to the station; a couple investigators in suits use every tactic in the book and hold him for a good 10 hours. They try and tell him that Em is some rich kid and Em is ‘using him for evil plans.’ The bacon also believes Em is an ‘evil genius’ as they have never seen anyone using match heads and because Em seen in the video weighing matches and recounting complicated bomb theory. Complicated match head pipe bomb theory, lol.
It’s been along time since all of this happened to Em and he was never charged. Will he take up his hobby in chemistry and explosives again?....
Well maybe once the heat dies down.