How many people do you know of that drove a car before they learned to walk?
How many gave a public lecture before they "saw spot run"?
If we all learn things at different times in our lives, then why would this be different.
You know what's best for you and have all the answers you need inside. So you say your giving up, well that's to bad. This post however sound like a final "I shall not be defeated" cry.
IMHO you are now reaching the point where one finaly deserves the reward. If you are like most it is unfortunate that focus is misguided and technique gives way to sketch logigic and what if loops.
For example, SWIW long ago would waste solvent,time, and energy trying to "get it all", all the lquid in the jar, all the powder in the grinder from the pills, all the tidbits scattered across the 120 tools used this round. Only to rediscover that simplicity and patience along with practice and a working knowledge (??) of the chems was all that was really required. By using less steps and slower precise actions and 4 not 120 tools yeild miraculously went up. Hmm? Granted if not for the chembuffs here progress would slow considerably.....
SWIW did not have the hive or internet or help and refernce at beck n call for years. Tehn blam after 10+ yrs in the dark a weird web page was discovered. "was that a link behind this ad?" And then there was light. What excitment seeing others share and learn in a visit what SWIW had "kinda figured" with blind observation and trial and error. Hmm no hive and yet candy flowed.
I guess what I'm saying is break it up into parts.
Pills for instence, Do you know the properties of Psuedo. Have you worked with it in at least 75+ percent purity to know what its patterns are when it forms crystal fast or slow from water or alky? What does it smell like when heated. How will it react when overheated and does all this vary according to ph?
The fact is that once you become very familiar to the reagent props you will have mucho situations under your belt as to how each will react in given reaction.
short story;
When little Johny and Jill had their electric was shut off for nonpayment one would think they would slow down and get it together. Instead they moved/shifted into the living room where the fireplace provided heat, light and hot meals. Though there home life was now mideval the candy still flowed. By candle light and time. Pills were extracted and spread over many plates to dry. Next day they were cleaned and again overnight drying. all was modified and could be done in near darkness, freezing temps and without electricity. Yeild suffered and rumors abound and eventually the two clawed there way back to societies level with the standard eminities at home. Point is if ya want it bad enough you will have it.
If things get frustrating and you want to take shortcuts WALK AWAY. Things look so diferent even after a little break. (Ok lets see where was I?);>
Do not doubt your previous steps or work and apply sudden changes in an effort to fix what aint broke. (You've put in your study time and know the visuals of the reaction why doubt yourself, consult someone else however before making deviations when needed. Practice practice and thae tequniue will come for whatever given step at whatever scale. Hell pouring out of a round courning dish or making it into a bottle from a coffe cup without spilling or dripping comes with time and experience and so does the rest. Like I said break it up. Then before trying it once more, take small amounts of each reactant and combine to see if dry enough clean enough and what it looks like when they are combined in their preent forms.
Or keep payin out the ass for MSM
