MBRP--Cellulase--A new suggestion

[Old_Rip_Beak]

Not that I'd ever try such a thing, nor advise you to do so:

Get your matchbooks, cut the striker pads from them.  Place them in a big jar--you need a big jar, 'cause you need lots--and fill with water.  Add plenty of cellulase, a class of enzymes that break H2O insoluble cellulose--which paper is almost entirely made up of--down into very H2O solluble sugars.  Make yourself a stirrer out of a pocket fan (plug in requried, unless you want to spend a mint in batteries), two rare earth magnets from Radio Shack, and some teflon tape.  Wrap the jar in a heating pad and set it on the lowest setting possible, working up until you get the contents of the jar to be about 100F to 120F.  Let it stir until the paper is dissolved and RP liberated.  Add some new cellulase daily. 

Enjoy,
~~Old Rip

PS--I'm too lazy to try this, but it looks good on paper.

[dwarfer]

duh: why magnets?  what is the fan, a stirrer?  how what when..

do you really use match book covers??  how disgusting.

[CharlieBigpotato]

hire an exceptionally juicy prostitute; have her say a prayer as you jump up and down on many boxes of matches.
(don't stop to read the match-book's adds...you know you don't want to go to the "la-salle school of broadcasting)

this activity; this male energy out-pouring, will encourage the flow of the sacred solvents.

sure.

laugh all you want.


vaginal secretions, of the type that happen from sexual exitement, are the "bomb" of solvents.

the problem is collecting the nectar.

its alot like collecting turpentine from trees.
it can bee done,

and that's what's important

[kris_1108]

CharlieBigPotatoe,
Ive tried your method myself, but it seemed to leave ~20% of the rp behind.
I like this method -

*Put srikers in a straw hat

*Fart at least 2 (two) times into the center of the pile. Carefully move your ass away as though not to disturb the gas

*Go to Mcdonalds and order a medium fries. By the time you get home, the gas would have de-cloxytised the RP. Wring the fries out over the pile, slightly to the left of the center of the pile.

*The oil from the Maccas chips will drag off the rp, and dissolve the paper.

*Go and watch the season final of Dawsons Creek, and while you are still crying, let your tears go in to the oil/rp mixture. This will force the oil out, and into the atmosphere. And maybe over to the probe on mars, and might get it going again.

*Tip the straw hat upside down on to a piece of recycled, non-bleached paper. The RP will be very dry and clean, should fire easily, even on exposure to the smell of I2!

Thats It!