Boston Herald
2/10/02
Website Blamed for Gangrene Outbreak
A recent outbreak of St. Anthony's fire, a disease caused by the wheat fungus Ergot, has been blamed on an internet website. The Hive, as it is known to the cyber community, reportedly encourages the use of drugs, abnormal sex practices, and even the plundering of ancient egyptian temples.
Doctors all over the country have been greeted with limbless patients, some claiming to have been members of the infamous Pooh Bear mafia.
Doctor Shevorkian says, "Ive never so many dumbasses try to eat ergot to trip. In the old days, we used to get cases of cat poop ketamine poisoning, and young people with stomachs full of pesticide coated morning glory seeds, now this? If you ask me the entire planet should be cleansed."
Rhodium, the local sex chief at the hedonistic hive colony couldnt be reached for comment, but his lawyer claims that he is not in fact a sex chief, but that he was the unwitting pawn of several unscroupulous moderators (who will remain unnamed) who took advantage of his innocence.