In my dreams, a squid-like alien creature contacted me. It said that communication while humans were in a dream-state was easier, because our disgusting egos get in the way less than when we are concious. It said that it would help us abolish drug-control by giving all federal employees rectal cancer if I can help it with a chemistry problem. Here's what it said:
"I added calcium oxide/KOH to sassy oil, then refluxed for a few hours, and now it's time to clean-up the isosafrole, which is a uniform light tan color. I've done several dH2O washings on this, and even tried washing with HCl, but it's the same damn color. Besides distillation, what else can I do to clean this stuff up? Without a vac-pump, I'm afraid to distill, so I have to make the best with what I have. Yes, I'm a poor alien; spent all of my cash on fixing up my ship, and various interesting drugs. I want to put my tentacles into your brain, so you can see the world as I do....."
Love my country, fear my government.