Thank you for starting this discussion S&H.
I couldn't agree more with what has been already been said.
The struggles are real, so they say. Paranoia is definitely a thing, and I'm on board with xdragon's supression tactic.
If I'd be aware of how much this hobby could truly destroy my life... I'd probably not be here and I wouldn't be in the lab. Let's just hope that things stay civil.
Times change, and if you're really into chemistry (and the timing is right), chances are chemistry will become your profession at some point (not in a drugs selling way, but in an academic/industrial legal way). It's comforting to know that I'll always be able to prepare a drug I'm interested in if I want to, but being surrounded by chemistry all day at work and doing exactly what I would do in my private lab (but just with legal targets) also reduced my desire to do home chemistry.
There will probably be a point in every clandestine chemists life, when you almost get caught. In this moment, you might rethink the hobby and decide that it's not worth the fun and excitement to go to prison and loose years of your life. All the suppression can't help at this point. (Now I see how this topic really will not have a positive feel to it.)
It might be important to point out that this realization usually doesn't last long. Unless you act immediately, it's very likely that you'll fall back into your supressive safe zone.I can also agree with timescales comment on carrying this burden alone. Talking about problems usually helps but at least IRL, this option is most often not existent. There are very few, very close people in my life who know about my hobby - but just the legal side, doing SM-like innocent experiments from time to time.