Pffff well look I guess I'll take, it if it will make life easier for you. 

Not a good idea. The bleach thing is bullshit - don't listen to Fester, he's a joke. It won't destroy the carbon skeleton even close to fast enough. You'll just land yourself felony destruction of evidence charges (as well as whatever other synonymous charges they can hit you with, say, a triple count of damaging evidence, destroying evidence, and concealing evidence, each 5 years to be served consecutively ). They can pick up very small traces of the stuff (part per trillion levels), so even if you lit off a perchlorate composition, you're still probably going to get hit. Anything to do with fire is a big no no. They can stick you with arson, even if it's your own house.

Best thing to do is to have it ready to flush. Keep a bucket of water by your toilet because they turn off your water before blowing down your door, so you really only get one flush. And besides - ever been in a raid? You wouldn't have time to flush more anyway before you're tackled, stun gunned, and your dog shot twelve times for playing dead. That bucket is just there to make sure that shit is gone - extra powerful flush. Soot all over the walls testing hot for drugs is sure to land destruction of evidence charges, whereas a toilet bowl testing hot could just mean you piss and shit a lot of unmetabolized drugs. If you're carrying weight on the road, and want to be able to get rid of it in a flash, just wait for soggy weather, and keep it dissolved in water. That way, if you see cherries and berries light up behind you, you can just slosh it out the window as you pull over, and it'll all wash away. Don't try to be clever with hiding spots, they know this game better than you do. If you're on foot, you could also dissolve it in vodka and just act drunk and dump it on the grass if confronted (for god's sake, dump on a porous surface only, you don't want to have to explain why shards are magically appearing on the sidewalk). Typical behavior of a drunkard that doesn't want a public intoxication charge, nothing noteworthy. Just be sure your breath smells like alcohol - pull a Paul Newman if you have to and use that vodka as mouthwash. Cops don't have many brain cells, but you don't want anything to seem off that might cause them to light up the two or three that survived the academy.

When destroying evidence, you must be discreet, or leave yourself plausible deniability, as you are committing another crime, this time right under their noses. A lot of people have gone down harder for felony destruction of evidence charges than they would've if they'd just thrown up their hands to fate.

Either way you need to decide in advance what your plan of action is - conceal everything as well as possible, which means it's impossible to get rid of, or be ready to dump at the first sign of alarm. If you second guess this decision at the last second, you'll find yourself in handcuffs.

Piranha bath.

I wouldn't want to see the result of bleach oxidation. N-haloamines...remind you of anything?

too close to nitrogen mustards, they are haloalkylamines, anything other than fluorine, making for a possible leaving group is a possible blister agent and carcinogen candidate.

Ever had a mustard gas burn? they are no fucking fun.

It aint called piranha bath for nowt.

Organoperoxides are satan incarnate.

A mix of slowly added conc. sulfuric to KMnO4 in carbon tet would do it, Mn2O7 is a bugger of an unstable explosive, but formed slowly enough to oxidise a substrate as its formed works.

Not the KMnO4, but as a slowly formed Mn2O7.

Fact is, if they blow the door down, they already know more about you than you'd like.  Can't get a warrant without some form of damning evidence to show probable cause.  So........unless yer turning over a new leaf (meaning quitting the game altogether), then  they got you.